I’m in a funk.
We’re opening a new and improved competitor’s course as an option for our members.
The premise? We’ve adopted the CrossFit regional qualifying standards for a male or female competitor, written up by a long times CrossFit Games athlete, and are taking the whole week to test each movement to see where we have room for improvement.
When I first started CrossFit 28 months and 6 days ago, I was completely unfamiliar with competitive CrossFit, and only knew that the man who owned the gym was someone I wanted to impress. I turned myself into a workout fiend, not competing for anything more than his attention. I obsessively watched the things I ate and worked hard to be the fittest in the gym. After winning his heart and becoming a CrossFit coach, I thought I had pretty much everything figured out.
And then I got incredibly burnt out.
And I guess I’m still recovering?
I fell off track with my training, fell off track with my nutrition, and now when I’m looking at the regional qualifying standards, I feel completely overwhelmed and inadequate. There is NO WAY I could reach all those goals. My best is definitely not good enough.
So I’m sinking into an existential fitness crisis. Wondering why I even work out, if I’m even accomplishing anything. Not sure what goals I’m trying to reach. I find myself coming home from a long day at work and staring blankly at a tv eating crap and wonder why I can’t seem to stop myself. I’m a coach. I talk to people every day about overcoming addictions to food. I talk to them about stepping away from bad habit cycles. I talk to them about eating to fuel the body. And I can’t seem to apply anything to myself. I hate myself for being a hypocrite. I hate myself for gaining weight. I hate myself for not being the energetic, spunky, more than slightly addicted to fitness person I was two years ago. And I hate the extra 5% body fat that’s found its way onto my belly. And I just feel more and more sunk and failing as time goes on. Why can’t I be the person I used to be?
I brought my concerns up with my coach/husband last night. I let him know about how discouraged I was feeling and how overwhelmed I felt by the task ahead. He reminded me of something pure and simple.
Trust your coach.
It’s the job of the coach to figure out the programming, identify the ways to stimulate and stress the body in order to elicit the proper adaptations and improvement without overstressing the muscles.
It’s my job to follow the programming. It’s my job to listen to my body to know how hard I can push myself, and then to push and train and work as hard as I can.
It’s the coach’s job to look at the long run and at the big picture. It’s my job to look at one day at a time and think about how I can make that day a good training session.
I’m committing to putting my trust in my coach, knowing that he’s got the knowledge and the experience necessary to help me reach my goals.
And whether or not I’m actually regionals ready a year from now, I’ll be better than I am today if I come in each day focused and determined to have a good training session.
Trust your coach.