Close of one year, beginning of another.
I’ll be the first to point out that 2012, while awesome in so many ways, was stress ridden in so many others.
In 2011, I maybe worked 15 hours a week. Maybe. I casually did the whole school thing (and my grades suffered because of the lack of effort I put in there) and I poured all of my heart and soul and energy into CrossFit and to capturing the heart of my now husband. In 2011, my biggest stress was not having any money and the occasional romantic upsets I experienced. But I had loads of free time, took lots of naps, and was able to get pretty lean without putting in too much effort. Because my big focus was CrossFitting my heart out, I developed a “Bad-A” reputation (or atleast I felt like I had).
At the end of 2011, I got my very first full time job. My financial stress went away, but all of a sudden I was facing a whole new kind of struggle.
Time was no longer something I could take for granted.
2012, for the first time ever, I was working all day every day. Then I’d go to the gym immediately after and I’d coach my class and workout and head home, eat dinner, fall asleep, and repeat.
I found myself going crazy and (I can’t believe I’m even saying this) getting a little burnt out of CrossFit. I found myself craving rest days, ditching out when I could, and losing the fitness I’d worked for for ages. My long time stress reliever was becoming one of my major sources of stress. I’d watch the people I coached make much bigger strides in their fitness than I was making and I’d get depressed. I’d watch CrossFit videos online and just feel like I was just falling further and further behind.
I set lots of unrealistic expectations for myself and became discouraged when I failed to reach them. I just felt so tired. There were some times I wished I could go back to my old Globo gym ways of just casually moving on an elliptical for an hour or so while zoning out to Friends and feel good about that. Intensity training is just so…intense.
But at the end of the day, I love CrossFit. I love competing and pushing myself. I love my community, my CrossFit family, the people who know that they can ask me questions, but they’ll get a nicer answer if I’ve had some caffeine already. I love being able to accomplish new things and set new personal bests. I know that in order to do those things, I’ve got to push myself.
So I have two new philosophies I’d like to share today.
The first comes from a blog I stumbled across through facebook.
I will exercise because it makes me feel good.
I will eat healthy because it makes me look good.
I will stick with it because quitting isn’t an option.
The other comes from Miranda Oldroyd, one of my CrossFit heroes and one of the elite level CrossFitters I had the pleasure of meeting at my CrossFit certification a year and a half ago. In her newest blog post, she wrote of the goals that she had for this new year. She talked about wanting to get in shape by finding a true love for hard work and about trying to qualify for the regionals and/or the crossfit games. One thing she said in particular really stood out to me as she reflected on both of those:
NEW GOAL: GET AS FIT AS I CAN.**(I don’t mean as fit as I can with the little effort I am putting in. I mean FIND OUT how fit I can be with what I have. I will never know unless I do everything in my power to find out.)**