I love to workout. I love the way I feel when I workout. I love pushing myself. I love the feeling I get when I’m struggling to breathe and there’s sweat dripping off my face onto the floor, but I still can push out one more rep. I’m hardcore addicted to working out and am passionate about it in a way that only other people who are addicted to working out can understand.
But, I have a confession to make. Sometimes, I don’t want to workout.Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I’m stressed. Sometimes I don’t feel well. Sometimes I’m so stressed that I don’t feel well and I feel totally physically drained and all I want to do is curl up in a cold room and close my eyes. Yesterday was one of those sometimes. I was at the gym trying to be helpful, but when 7pm came and it was time for StrengthWOD, I was ready for the day to done. The other SWODers had already started warming up when I walked over to Seth and asked if I could just do the workout the next day cause I didn’t really feel like working out. He said I could do that if I wanted to, but he challenged me to try to do something anyway.
I debated just doing a couple sit-ups and then heading home (There were a bunch of other things that would be nice to get done at home.)
As I was walking toward the door, a thought struck me. When I was a kid, I’d always hear in church that when you don’t feel like praying, pray until you do, because it’s in those times that you don’t feel like praying that you need to pray the most. I thought to myself that maybe that could be true for working out as well. I didn’t feel like working out, but I decided to workout until it felt like something I wanted to do.
I busted out a quick warm-up, grabbed my training partner and we started our strength work.
The workout started with Snatch Balance singles, increasing the weight each time. Usually when it comes time to put some weight overhead, I play the “What’s the worst that could happen?” game and a long list of awful things pop into my head. I psyche myself out and then give up before I reach the bar. The most I’d ever Snatch Balanced in the past was 115. The most I’d ever Overhead Squatted was 135#. But yesterday, when I picked up the bar, I told myself that the worst that could happen that day was that I would exceed my expectations, so I’d take a deep breath and go for it. Every time I made a lift, the things that were bothering me seemed smaller and smaller in my mind. I ended up doing a Snatch Balance of 160#. I smiled, and continued doing the workout.
After finishing the last of the conditioning work, my body hurt, I was dripping with sweat, I was struggling to breathe, and I felt so much better than I had when I walked in the gym that day. While nothing else in my life had changed, I felt stronger and more confident in my ability to overcome things that are hard or scary for me.
So, guess this means I’ll be seeing you at the gym tonight.