Prayers for Boston

This is a step out of the norm, but these thoughts are weighing heavily on my mind today.

Growing up, I watched my mom train for many marathons. And by watch, I mean she’d wake me up at 4:45 and ask me to crawl in bed next to whichever kid was the baby at that time so she and my dad could go out on a long run before the baby woke up. She’d been working with a coach to help her get faster, help her core get stronger, and to hopefully qualify for the Boston Marathon. In 2011, she was training hard to get her time where it needed to be in order to qualify, and she suffered an injury that made running impossible and exercise improbable.

My mom’s injury has been a big trial in her life. As a mother of 8 difficult children (I can say that because I’m one of them) having an outlet for her emotions, having a stress reliever, and having some “Self-time” was really important for her mental health. When that was taken away from her, she was really shaken up. She’s seen many different physical therapists to try to solve her injury, to try to recover. She’s been through a long and painful and difficult recovery process. It’s taken until just recently for her to start seeing some progress and be able to start running again.

Today, as I watched the news of the bombs at the Boston Marathon, my heart hurt to think of the hatred and cruelty there are in this world. I don’t understand why this would happen.

I also today am feeling grateful. Had my mom been able to train the way she’d planned to, had her training not been disrupted by a frustrating, debilitating injury, she likely would have been one of the runners in Boston today. When we’d talked before about her hopes to go to Boston,we’d talked about making a girls’ trip out of it, meaning I could have been one of the spectators at the finish line today. I’m grateful that my mom, while on the mend, was not able to run in Boston today.

My heart and prayers go out to those who did suffer a loss or an injury, or who are still waiting to hear from their loved ones today.

Every so often, we get our mortality shoved in our faces and we get reminded that there are no guarantees for tomorrow. I hope today we all hug our loved ones a little tighter and express our gratitude and love for them.

I know emotions are running very high right now, some calling for peace, some calling for war. I hope that was we seek change in the world, we first think of the changes we need to make in ourselves.

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” – Mahatma Gandhi

TRUST YOUR COACH

I’m in a funk.

We’re opening a new and improved competitor’s course as an option for our members.

The premise? We’ve adopted the CrossFit regional qualifying standards for a male or female competitor, written up by a long times CrossFit Games athlete, and are taking the whole week to test each movement to see where we have room for improvement.

When I first started CrossFit 28 months and 6 days ago, I was completely unfamiliar with competitive CrossFit, and only knew that the man who owned the gym was someone I wanted to impress. I turned myself into a workout fiend, not competing for anything more than his attention. I obsessively watched the things I ate and worked hard to be the fittest in the gym. After winning his heart and becoming a CrossFit coach, I thought I had pretty much everything figured out.

And then I got incredibly burnt out.

And I guess I’m still recovering?

I fell off track with my training, fell off track with my nutrition, and now when I’m looking at the regional qualifying standards, I feel completely overwhelmed and inadequate. There is NO WAY I could reach all those goals. My best is definitely not good enough.

So I’m sinking into an existential fitness crisis. Wondering why I even work out, if I’m even accomplishing anything. Not sure what goals I’m trying to reach. I find myself coming home from a long day at work and staring blankly at a tv eating crap and wonder why I can’t seem to stop myself. I’m a coach. I talk to people every day about overcoming addictions to food. I talk to them about stepping away from bad habit cycles. I talk to them about eating to fuel the body. And I can’t seem to apply anything to myself. I hate myself for being a hypocrite. I hate myself for gaining weight. I hate myself for not being the energetic, spunky, more than slightly addicted to fitness person I was two years ago. And I hate the extra 5% body fat that’s found its way onto my belly. And I just feel more and more sunk and failing as time goes on. Why can’t I be the person I used to be?

I brought my concerns up with my coach/husband last night. I let him know about how discouraged I was feeling and how overwhelmed I felt by the task ahead. He reminded me of something pure and simple.

Trust your coach.

It’s the job of the coach to figure out the programming, identify the ways to stimulate and stress the body in order to elicit the proper adaptations and improvement without overstressing the muscles.

It’s my job to follow the programming. It’s my job to listen to my body to know how hard I can push myself, and then to push and train and work as hard as I can.

It’s the coach’s job to look at the long run and at the big picture. It’s my job to look at one day at a time and think about how I can make that day a good training session.

I’m committing to putting my trust in my coach, knowing that he’s got the knowledge and the experience necessary to help me reach my goals.

And whether or not I’m actually regionals ready a year from now, I’ll be better than I am today if I come in each day focused and determined to have a good training session.

Trust your coach.

WODsomniac 2013: A Competitor’s Perspective

4pm: Registration Open at CMC

Photo Cred Mom

Seth and I arrived at Copper Mountain CrossFit, 30 minutes early for registration. We were shown the different areas we’d be using. One area was their actual CrossFit facility and the other was the big empty room next door. One area of the big empty room was designated as the athlete tent zone, the other was measured out for some of the competitions. We checked in, brought in our stuff, and sat on the concrete to wait. Slowly, other athletes started to trickle in as well. We sat there munching on apples and PB+J just watching other people come in and claim their spots. Our gym members set up camp right next to us and shared their camping supplies so we wouldn’t have to sit on the floor anymore. We chatted away to relieve our nerves. We looked through the heat list and learned that for the first five events, our team was in heat 1, lane 2.

6pm: Team WOD #1 – Burpees, box overs, dead lifts
For this workout, each team member had to perform one round of 21 Deadlifts (205# for men, 135# for women), 15 bag burpees (65# for men, 40# for women) and 9 box overs (24″ for men, 20″ for women). There was also a sled (I’m not sure how much it weighed) that you’d have to push from station to station. After finishing the box overs, you’d have to flip around and pull the sled back to the starting line before the second athlete could begin.

I was the first athlete from our team to start. Deadlifts are easy for me, so at 3-2-1-GO, I was off and finished before anyone else. I pushed the sled past the line for the burpees and started as quickly as I could. I’m not so good at burpees and was passed up by the other girls as I struggled. I tried to maintain my pace and never stop moving. Burpees done, I pushed the sled to the boxes and jumped up to do my first box over…and totally biffed it, tripping over the box and landing on my knees skidding across. The judge “NO-REP”-ed me and I started over. Again, I moved as quickly as I could, though that ended up being much slower than everyone else. I pulled the sled back to the starting line, struggling a bit at the beginning trying to figure out the best way to move with the sled. Then Nicole took off.

I couldn’t seem to catch my breath as I was watching our other athletes. I couldn’t breathe deeply because my chest hurt so badly every time I tried. It was a little terrifying.

After Nicole, went Seth, then Todd and our team finished with a time of 13:12. It took me awhile to feel normal again, but when I did I was ready and excited to go again.

9pm: WOD #2 – “Carry Me Home” (girls)
This workout involved 20 dumbbell Ground to Overheads with a 40# dumbbell and then partner carries 20m down and 20m back. While one partner was doing the GtOs, the other had to be holding a fat bar deadlift at 75#. Each partner had to do 2 rounds, alternating back and forth, for a total of 4 rounds. We both wore football gloves to help our grip.

Photo Cred Ali Sumsion Photography

I started on the deadlift hold and Nicole started on the GtOs. While the bar itself wasn’t heavy, it got a little tiring to hold on to it while Nicole powered through her reps. My parents, husband and some gym members stood right behind Nicole so I could see each of their faces and I knew I couldn’t let them down. I did not let go of the bar until Nicole was done with her set.
I outweigh Nicole by 30-40 pounds, so carrying me was a bit of a struggle for her. She powered through, though and then it was time for me to do the GtOs.

I’d been practicing the GtOs with a 50# deadlift back at our gym, so the 40# version was significantly easier. With our supporters right behind us, I could hear them calling my name and cheering me on. Nicole right in front of me cheered me on as she held onto the deadlift bar. She jumped on my back and I ran with her as quickly as I could.

We each did another round and finished with a time of 5:25.

10:30pm: WOD #3 – “Carry Me Home” (guys)
This workout is the same as the one for the girls, but the guys used a 65# dumbbell and I think the bar they had to hold was 115#. Todd and Seth were taller than the guys they were racing, but are both incredibly strong and quick, and finished with a time of 4:58.

Photo Cred WODsomniac

Midnight: WOD#4 – Burpee Blitz (Mixed WOD, 1 guy, 1 girl)
Todd and I did this workout. It was 10 alternating rounds of 8 burpees to a 15# plate followed by 2 20m shuttle sprints. We had to wear elevation training masks set at 9000ft the whole time.

I went first. I tried to focus on controlling my breathing and keeping up a steady pace. On the shuttle runs, I tried to push as hard as I could, knowing I could lift my mask when I was done while Todd went.

The scariest part for me was on my 3rd round and 2nd sprint, I hadn’t been breathing very well, and I started to see black spots in my vision. That’s always been my body’s sign that I’m about to black out. I tried to shake out the black spots and I made it back and was able to catch my breath a little bit before I had to go again. When I finished my last round I ripped off my mask and sat and breathed while my vision cleared up.

Todd rocks at burpees and blasted through each of his rounds very quickly. He carried us on this workout.

Because I was so slow, we finished this WOD in 16th place with a time of 7:47. A little demoralizing. I was very grateful to be done wearing the mask.

Seth and I took a short nap after this workout before it was time for him to get warmed up for “The FRANimal”

Photo Cred Ali Sumsion Photography

1:45am: WOD#5 – The “FRAN”imal (Mixed WOD, 1 guy, 1 girl)
Seth and Nicole did this WOD. It was a 6 minute AMRAP (As Many Rounds as Possible in 6 minutes) of 9 Thrusters (95/65) and 9 Pull-ups, wearing an elevation training mask set to 9000ft.

Nicole started off our team, blazing through her round.

Seth kept up beautiful form and pushed through each time.

They alternated back and forth, back and forth, neither showing any signs of weakness or slowing.

They finished with a total 162 reps and a 3rd place finish for the workout.

After this workout, we had a couple hours to rest before the next workout. We climbed into our little tent and ate some food, drank some water, and slowly drifted off to sleep, the four of us crammed into the tiny little tent.

It was hard to get comfortable on the thin mattress pads on the cement, but I cuddled into Seth, leaning my head on Nicole’s shoulder, and managed to doze off for an hour or two.

Waking up in the morning after only a few short hours of sleep was rough. I took comfort in the fact that I was surrounded by other athletes in the exact same condition. We were all tired, we were all stiff, we were all sore…but we all were going to get up anyway because we’re CrossFitters and that’s what we do.

6:30am: Skillz – Max Lifts (one guy, one girl)
This workout gave each team 4 minutes to find their max consecutive pullups, 8 minutes to find their 1 rep max weighted dip, and 12 minutes to find their 1 rep max hang clean. I wasn’t able to watch Seth and Nicole do this workout, because I was off doing the other skill test with Todd. But Seth got a 10 pound PR on his hang clean, and Nicole did a dip with like 70 pounds!  They placed second in this workout and I wish someone would have got a picture or two of them during the event.

Photo Cred WODsomniac

7:30am: Skillz – 5k Run (other guy, other girl)
This workout was the one that I had a bit of a panic attack over the day before and the day of. When the Skill tests were announced, and I knew I would have to be the one to run, I got incredibly nervous because unfortunately I absolutely SUCK at running. It’s a horrible weakness I have. I always get sideaches, always have to walk some of it, and always feel horrible about myself before, after, and during. I did my best throughout the competition to focus on one workout at a time, but I was anxious and nervous about this one. I was able to watch a couple rounds of the max lifts skill test and I wanted to be able to do that workout SO BAD. But, at 7:30, along with Kenna from the other Put It Up CrossFit team, bundled up from head to toe, I walked to the lake that we’d be running around. The judges counseled us to be very careful because of all the ice and snow and to stick to the trail because it was very easy to get lost. The boys set off first, and we set off 5 minutes later.

Kenna and I started at the end of the pack and soon all the other ladies disappeared in front of us. We kept our own little pace and tried to keep running the whole time. My side and hip and her back hurt, but we tried to talk about other things that would distract us and to help us keep going. There were a couple times where we reached forks in the road and had to make our best guess about which way to go. We ended up making several wrong turns, even after receiving directions from some of the judges. Our 5K turned into a “WHAT THE HECK” K, and we finished in a little bit under an hour. With the fog being so dense, and with us having no idea where we were or how to get back, I cried when we finally got back to our tent because I’d been so scared, and was so relieved, but at the same time, so incredibly disappointed in myself. The people running the event said we weren’t the only ones to get lost, and felt awful that it had happened. They ended up cutting the points down for that event so our finish wouldn’t hurt us so much in the standings.

Photo Cred…ME

10:00am: WOD#6 – 10-3-10 (guys)
This workout was one of the more fun workouts.
It started off with a 10 minute AMRAP of 20 front squats at 95#, 15 box overs at 24″ and then 10 HSPU (Hand Stand Push Ups)
Then, after 1 minute of rest, they had 3 minutes to get as many rope climbs as they could.
Immediately after the rope climbs, they each had to row 500m, perform 20 snatches, and then 50 double unders, in follow the leader style.
Seth and Todd were INCREDIBLE on this workout. They took 1st place overall for this event, with a 4th place finish in the first amrap, first place for the rope climbs, and then I believe another 1st place finish for the last workout as well. It was an outstanding effort from both of them. Seth asked me before the event to always be where he could see me, so I’d move to be where he could see me and I cheered as loud as I could. I was so proud of my man. And so happy to give him a big sweaty hug after.

Photo Cred Mom

12:30pm: WOD#7 – 10-3-10 (girls)
At this point in the day, we’d held onto a fifth place overall standing. There were only a few points between us and fourth place. We knew that in order to take 4th place, we would have to dominate this workout.

Nicole and I worked well together on this workout. Our strategy was to keep up a good pace on the first 10 minutes but not redline, then to let Nicole take the lead on the rope climbs, and for me to start us off for the last workout.

We got 5 rounds on the first ten minutes, which was an 11th place finish. One of the highlights for me here was getting 7 HSPU in a row, an all time record. I let Nicole take most of the HSPU because she is better at these, but I was happy to be able to contribute. I tried to take most of the front squats, but we just worked together and talked back and forth to make sure we were helping each other out.

Nicole started us off on the rope climbs. We alternated back and forth going up the rope until there was a little under a minute left. I headed over to the rower and she did two more climbs up the rope, giving us a total 10 ascents. Seth admitted later that he had been worried about me with the rope climbs since they’re not something that I had practiced very much. He was pleasantly surprised and very proud after watching us.

I started off on the 500m row, and PR’d my 500m row time, rowing at a 1:30 pace for most of the time. My body felt shot afterwards so I broke up my snatches into sets of 4, but finished my 20 reps before Nicole finished her row.

I messed up a couple times on the double unders, but ended with a nice long set. I turned around when I was done to cheer on Nicole. She finished with a time of 7:39, giving us the 4th place finish that we needed to move up to 4th place overall. When we finished the workout, my brother and his cute girlfriend were there (I didn’t know that they would be coming) and it was great to see them and know that they’d come to support.

Photo Cred Mom

3:15pm: WOD#8 – Habra Sangre (All Team-Mixed Pairs)
At this point in the competition, there was only one point keeping us in 4th place above the 5th place team. Because we were in fourth, we got to go in the final heat and we had the advantage of knowing the time of the team we had to beat in order to keep our fourth place finish.

This workout started out with Seth rowing 400M while I held a dip in the up position.
The dip part was easy because Seth is a super fast rower. My arms were a little shaky, but I distracted myself by making faces at people and kicking my legs nonchalantly.

When he finished his 400m, we switched places. I rowed the fastest I’ve ever rowed, beating even my pace from earlier.

Nicole and Todd took our place at the rower and dip station, and we moved on to do Wallballs. While Seth did wallballs, I had to hold a sandbag in the front rack position. We switched off every 20-15 reps and tried to keep up a fast pace. Nicole and Todd finished their rows just as soon as we finished the wallballs. Seth and I stepped back to cheer for them. They finished their wallballs in a time of 9:19, only 9 seconds behind the first place finisher, giving us a second place finish for the workout and securing our 4th place overall.

Photo Cred Mom

Overall, this was an awesome experience. In true CrossFit fashion, it highlighted my weaknesses and let me know where I needed to improve. But it also brought our team and our gym together closer than we’d been before. It meant a lot to me to be able to participate in this extremely demanding competition with my husband competing right along with me. I know I pushed myself harder in this event than I would have if it were an individual event because I didn’t want to let my team down. My teammates are all superstars, and I know if it weren’t for me slowing them down on the burpees and on the 5K, they could have had a good chance of making it to the FINALS. So going into the rest of this year’s training, my vision for myself is that I’ll be someone people will be happy about having on their team, that I’ll be able to build my team up instead of holding them back.

Oftentimes in life, I get caught up in the monotony of my routine. Every once in awhile, we all get chances to be involved in something extraordinary. For me this month, that meant participating in a 24 hour CrossFit competition. Today I’m tired, sore, and incredibly hungry. But also excited about the future and excited about CrossFit and excited about life. I was so grateful for the opportunity to participate in this incredible event and look forward to doing it again in the future.

Mental Perspective

Hello All!

First off, I wanted to apologize for being gone for so long. I’ve got some pretty good excuses though.

I’ve been accepted to be a volunteer CrossFit Media Writer for the CrossFit South West region. So in my spare time, I’m researching all the latest in the CrossFit world and brainstorming angles. I’ve been assigned to, written, and submitted one article and I’m eagerly and anxiously awaiting my next assignment. I’m really hoping The Editors like what I wrote because I got to interview two really cool guys that are super awesome athletes and I did my best to capture their personalities and enthusiasm in the piece I wrote. Still waiting for some feedback, but I’m staying positive.

I’ve also been working on my NSCA certification. I’ve set a goal of reading and taking notes on two chapters a week. I have lots of time to do this, cause my sweetheart has a lot of studying this semester. I’ve been trying to be a better housewife and make sure he has food to eat and I’ve been washing my dishes more and trying to keep up on the laundry so my honey can focus on studying.

In addition, we’ve been preparing for a local competition called WODsomniac. It’s a CrossFit competition that you enter as teams. There are eight total workouts that are scheduled over a 24 hour period. I know it’s going to be a serious physical and mental challenge but I’m excited for it. At the beginning of the week, I was feeling nervous/excited. I’ve come to the conclusion though that I’m not going to walk into the competition already beating myself down in my head.

We draw this triangle sometimes at the gym, and we call it the hierarchy of fitness. We will frequently add Mental Perspective below Nutrition as the true base of fitness.

MENTAL PERSPECTIVE

Each piece of that pyramid is important, but the most important piece (in my opinion) is that mental perspective. Have you ever walked into the gym feeling tired or stressed? Or approached a barbell already thinking that the weight is heavier than you can lift? Our mental game really does effect how we’re able to perform.

So this week as you’re working out, I want you to focus your mental perspective. Give yourself permission to succeed by telling yourself that it is absolutely possible. Talk yourself up instead of putting yourself down. Build up your mental perspective.

2013: All it takes is all you’ve got

Close of one year, beginning of another.

I’ll be the first to point out that 2012, while awesome in so many ways, was stress ridden in so many others.

In 2011, I maybe worked 15 hours a week. Maybe. I casually did the whole school thing (and my grades suffered because of the lack of effort I put in there) and I poured all of my heart and soul and energy into CrossFit and to capturing the heart of my now husband. In 2011, my biggest stress was not having any money and the occasional romantic upsets I experienced. But I had loads of free time, took lots of naps, and was able to get pretty lean without putting in too much effort. Because my big focus was CrossFitting my heart out, I developed a “Bad-A” reputation (or atleast I felt like I had).

At the end of 2011, I got my very first full time job. My financial stress went away, but all of a sudden I was facing a whole new kind of struggle.

Time was no longer something I could take for granted.

2012, for the first time ever, I was working all day every day.  Then I’d go to the gym immediately after and I’d coach my class and workout and head home, eat dinner, fall asleep, and repeat.

I found myself going crazy and (I can’t believe I’m even saying this) getting a little burnt out of CrossFit. I found myself craving rest days, ditching out when I could, and losing the fitness I’d worked for for ages. My long time stress reliever was becoming one of my major sources of stress. I’d watch the people I coached make much bigger strides in their fitness than I was making and I’d get depressed. I’d watch CrossFit videos online and just feel like I was just falling further and further behind.

I set lots of unrealistic expectations for myself and became discouraged when I failed to reach them. I just felt so tired. There were some times I wished I could go back to my old Globo gym ways of just casually moving on an elliptical for an hour or so while zoning out to Friends and feel good about that. Intensity training is just so…intense.

But at the end of the day, I love CrossFit. I love competing and pushing myself. I love my community, my CrossFit family, the people who know that they can ask me questions, but they’ll get a nicer answer if I’ve had some caffeine already. I love being able to accomplish new things and set new personal bests. I know that in order to do those things, I’ve got to push myself.

So I have two new philosophies I’d like to share today.

The first comes from a blog I stumbled across through facebook.

I will exercise because it makes me feel good.

I will eat healthy because it makes me look good.

I will stick with it because quitting isn’t an option.

The other comes from Miranda Oldroyd, one of my CrossFit heroes and one of the elite level CrossFitters I had the pleasure of meeting at my CrossFit certification a year and a half ago. In her newest blog post, she wrote of the goals that she had for this new year. She talked about wanting to get in shape by finding a true love for hard work and about trying to qualify for the regionals and/or the crossfit games. One thing she said in particular really stood out to me as she reflected on both of those:

NEW GOAL: GET AS FIT AS I CAN. 

**(I don’t mean as fit as I can with the little effort I am putting in.  I mean FIND OUT how fit I can be with what I have.  I will never know unless I do everything in my power to find out.)**

No matter how much I’d like to think that I’ve pushed myself as hard as I can muster, I know that I haven’t yet. Like Miranda, I want to find out what kind of fitness is possible for me in 2013 if I consistently put in all I have. We’ll never know what we can accomplish unless we do everything in our power to find out.

Couple years ago, some friends brought me a shirt from their home CrossFit gym. On the back it says “All it takes is all you’ve got”

So that’s my goal for 2013. I’m going to give myself the time and effort that I need to find out how fit I can become in 2013.  All it takes is all I’ve got. Quitting isn’t an option.

What are your goals for the new year?

Check yourself

I got a deadlift PR yesterday. I could have pulled more, but I knew I would have had to sacrifice form. It’s been nice today to know that I got a PR, but to be able to walk comfortably and not have pain in my back. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, as Coach Seth always says.

It’s been an exciting time of year at Put It Up CrossFit! We’ve got new faces, new PRs and new equipment! Several members of our gym have signed up for a local CrossFit competition in January that promises to be as intense as it is intimidating (8 WODs in 24 hours). We’re excited, nervous, and trying to up our training.

For myself, one of the reasons I wanted to sign up was because I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck in a workout rut lately. I’ve been lacking intensity, lacking motivation, and lacking energy. Each day when I coach people, I remind them that proper nutrition is the way to getting energy, but I’ve been really struggling with that.

I realized that a big problem that I’ve had is my attitude and my perspective. As I was driving home the other day after work, I was thinking about my schedule. I work during the day. I clock out. I go home. I chill out. I work out. I make dinner. Repeat. And I realized that my schedule really isn’t that tough. My husband, on the other hand, wakes up early. Coaches at the gym. Goes to school. Goes back to coaching at the gym. Works out if he can and if there aren’t other things pressing on him. When he’s not at the gym or at school, he’s doing homework or programming workouts or researching things to help him be a better coach or texting people from the gym. My husband never clocks out. He rarely gets to chill out. He sometimes doesn’t get time to eat. He doesn’t always get to work out. And then he repeats. But he always is kind and respectful and patient with the people he coaches. Who am I to complain?

I checked my attitude. Refocused. And had a pretty good day at the gym.

So check yourself. Check your attitude. Check your mental “form” before coming to the gym.

But that’s not the only thing I’d like us to start checking our attitude about.

One of our gym members went to the grocery store rocking a Put It Up CrossFit shirt. A fellow CrossFitter from another box stopped him and asked how he liked it, and told him also that if he wants to go to a real gym, to head to his box instead.

While part of me wants to find that guy and punch him in the face, I understand that feeling. Some of that comes from being so passionate about my box. I believe I’ve got the best box in the world, with the best people, and the best owner, and the best environment. But I also recognize that every CrossFitter would feel the same about their box. Amazing things happen when people WOD together. People who WOD together inspire each other, motivate each other, support each other, push each other and watch each other make big strides and reach big goals. And those things build that intricately connected community that keeps people coming back for more.

My hope is that while we may feel that passion about our box, that we would have enough respect for others in our community to not talk to or about other people that way. In the box, we don’t want to just be improving our health and fitness: we want to improve our character as well. So check your form in the way you speak with and treat others.

Just something more to think about this holiday season!

Holiday Season!

Entering the holiday season and as usual, my willpower is battling the elements.

And by elements, I mean the free pizza at lunch on Halloween.

Or the leftover cupcakes.

Or the bags of uneaten Halloween candy that are up for grabs.

Or the pumpkin flavored pies, scones, or mini tarts.

Or any of the other goodies that are trying to slide into my grocery cart at the store.

So that means it’s storytime. We’re going way back to when I was probably 10.

I have a lot of siblings and we had a lot of cousins over. We had all been stuck in the house all day. My aunt said that we were going to go on a walk to go play at the park. My mom mentioned that it might rain later in the day, but when we looked outside, the sun was shining. So we put on our t-shirts and our shorts and headed out.

The walk to the park took a good 45 minutes. Every time we passed someone on our walk, they told us that we should probably head indoors because a pretty bad storm was on the way. At the park, we’d only played for a couple minutes when the wind started to pick up and the clouds started to roll in. So we turned back around to head home.

Not exaggerating here, this was the craziest storm I’ve ever been. The rain came down fast and hard with big chunks of hail. The wind was intense and piercing and difficult to walk through. We were all immediately drenched, incredibly cold, and weren’t anywhere near home. We tried to huddle together and walk as quickly as we could. I’m pretty sure we were pushing a kid in a stroller and if anyone had a sweatshirt, you better believe we handed it over to the baby.

So there we all were. Completely and totally unprepared and caught in the elements.

I mean, we all survived and warmed up and had hot chocolate later. But it was pretty miserable getting home.

So looking back, there’s a lot of things we could have done differently.

We could have stayed home. I mean seriously. We knew a storm was coming. We could have stayed home.

We could have driven to the park instead of walked. Cars are brilliant. They most likely have roofs and doors and walls and heating. And the ability to move pretty quickly.

We could have worn sweaters or rain jackets or brought umbrellas just in case.

I don’t know about you, but I personally don’t want to spend the holiday season completely drenched and far from my goal. I don’t want to look back and have to “man, sure wish I’d…”

So what’s the key?

Well, the key for each person will be different. But there are some factors that are pretty much universal.

1. Be Aware. Be aware of the emotions, the situations, or the people that are most likely to be involved when you fall off of track.

2. Be Prepared. If you know that you’re going to encounter the tempests or the storms, be prepared. Eat before you go to a party. Chew gum. Drink water. Know how you’re going to handle the situations before they come.

3. Remember your WHY. Remember WHY it’s important to you that you stay on track. Remember WHY you want to make a change. Make your WHY important, and don’t let things get in the way.

4. Forgive yourself. Yup. You just might slip up. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure. If you slip, take the very next opportunity you have to make a healthy decision and get back on track.

Best of luck to all of you!

Why I Coach

When I was in second grade, one of the boys in my class told me I was fat because girls have to have babies. That was the first time I ever felt embarrassed or discouraged about my body. I was bigger than everyone I grew up with-a little taller, a little rounder, and it bothered me. I had very little understanding about nutrition or exercise or weight, so I just assumed that that’s the way I was, and I accepted that.

As I grew older, my weight steadily increased. I was unhappy with the way I looked but felt helpless and powerless to change. I didn’t understand how to be healthy, or what healthy habits really were.

The summer after my junior year, I had knee surgery on both of my knees at the same time. The doctor explained it would be a couple weeks before I could walk at all, even just to get up to go to the bathroom. That meant bathroom trips were always assisted by other people. I slept on the couch on the main floor of the house, and my siblings were always happy to run and get me food. I got a little bit depressed. I couldn’t leave the house. There was nothing to do but eat and sleep and watch tv. I figured that I’d probably gain weight anyway and I could “Fix it” the next year.

Starting out my senior year, I weighed in at 220 pounds. It blew my mind how my weight had crept up on me. I was really ashamed of myself.

I tried lots of things senior year. I learned that there are lots of ways to “lose weight”.  I went on the “just vegetables” diet. I avoided proteins and fats because proteins help your muscles grow (didn’t want any more bulkiness going on) and fats are high calorie. I avoided dairy because I heard that too much dairy could clog up your digestive system, and I wanted to make sure there was nothing preventing me from losing weight. Then my brother pointed out that I was lowering my metabolism by not eating enough, so that would make me gain weight eventually. So I switched to eating 12 almonds in the morning and then not eating anything till dinner that night. My dinner would be a sandwich, or a candy bar, or a serving of whatever my mom put on the table. I’d snack on Altoids throughout the day so I felt like I was chewing something. I went through a pack of Altoids a day. I got down to 175 in 3 months with my “Diet” and my friends complimented me all the time on how good I was looking and how I had such great self control. The Altoids and the compliments fueled me.  But when I was by myself, I felt fatigued and sick and tired.

One day at my after school job, I felt so tired that I just sat down on the floor in the corner. One of my coworkers stopped by and said “There is something seriously wrong with you. I don’t know what it is. But you’re not okay.” I decided I needed to change my relationship with food and be okay with eating again. As a family, we went out to breakfast for my brother, and I ordered a big cheesy omelette to prove to myself that I could eat and still be okay.

I downed that omelette in record time. It tasted amazing. But moments later, I was in agonizing pain. My stomach hurt incredibly bad. Bad enough that my mom took me to the doctor later that day. I described my symptoms to the doctor and she asked me about my eating habits. The doctor said that by cutting out entire food groups like that, my body had sort of forgotten how to digest food. My digestive system just wasn’t used to having so much work to do and was overwhelmed by what I had done. I felt so discouraged. When I don’t eat? Tired and sick. When I do eat serious pain. Either way, I wasn’t getting anywhere and couldn’t figure out how I could make it right.

That feeling of discouragement and desperation is common. I was ready and willing to try any quick fix or pill. I craved change, but the habits I was trying to build were either too many all at once or ones that were not realistically sustainable.

I started working out with a personal trainer one time a week. That meant that once a week for 30 minutes, I knew I was getting a solid workout. But I also talked with my trainer about nutrition. She had me keep a food journal for 3 days and then she went over it with me. She told me which things I needed more of, which things I needed less of. She gave me target portion sizes and a sample eating schedule. I did everything exactly how she told me to do it, and it started to work. The weight came off (more slowly, of course) but it was working. I would lift weights with her once a week, and then come in and do cardio on the other days.

I got a new trainer. He was awesome. He brought out the competitive side of me with our workouts. He pointed out and highlighted when he saw improvements in me. He told me that he’d been bragging about me. I tried my best to follow his prescribed exercise program and when I did, I felt awesome. I felt strong.  I followed the meal plan set by the earlier trainer and tried to always go above and beyond with the exercise. I was hooked. I loved changing my body.

When summer came, I was at the gym first thing every morning. I’d get in about an hour of cardio, and another hour around midday, and then an hour or two in the evening if I ate something I felt guilty about. I’d go to the Cardio Cinema room and watch movies while I casually exercised. I’d leave sweating. I’d do some casual strength training, and then I’d leave.

I found a balance with my eating and my exercising that I felt good about. 2-4 hours of exercise a day and a pretty solid nutrition plan, and I was set.

And then I sprained my ankle.

And school started.

And I got a job at a fast food restaurant.

I was absolutely and completely totally frustrated again. I didn’t have time to be at the gym late at night. I couldn’t get up early enough to exercise in the morning.

And then I found CrossFit. CrossFit is a strength and conditioning program that uses functional movements in different combinations, for different lengths of time, at a high intensity. The intensity component was something that was of great interest to me. Because intensity? Intensity is scientifically and chemically the key to physical change. When you push yourself as hard as you can stand and then a little bit harder still, you find that you’re working faster than your lungs can keep up with. So after you exercise, you’re in a state of “Excess Post Exercise Oxygen Consumption”. You might notice this for a short time after you stop exercising. Breathing heavier, heart’s thudding? But the total recovery part after the intense training goes beyond what you can physically see and lasts after your heart rate returns to normal. One thing that happens is your body releases free fatty acids into your blood stream to be metabolized. Also known as, your body burns even more fat after you’re done exercising. Your metabolism revs up as you’re body strives to recover. If you hit that intensity pretty consistently, your body will learn that you’re not going to let up and that it better get tougher if it wants to survive. So your bones get more dense, your muscles get tougher, your connective tissue becomes more resilient, your heart and lungs become more efficient.

And then, like magic, you can go harder. Faster. Stronger. Leaner. More toned. Healthier.

I didn’t really understand that intensity factor until I became a coach. I knew I loved it. I knew I loved not needing to be on a machine for about 1/6^th of my day. I loved having a social life, not just watching movies in the dark by myself. I loved meeting people at the CrossFit box and hearing their stories and finding out their goals and discovering what they’re doing and why it’s important to them. I love talking to people who know more than I do about quality nutrition, who really understand what quality nutrition means and how to apply those principles. I loved the results I saw. I still had to work for the results, but it was more enjoyable. I don’t panic if I occasionally eat something I shouldn’t have. My focus with my nutrition now is to eat in a way that will give my body quality fuel to drive my workouts and to eat in a way that will give my body the nutrients it needs to recover from my workouts. That helps me to bring the intensity which in turn helps me see progress.

I’ve learned also that progress doesn’t mean just the number on the scale. I still check the number on the scale because old habits die hard. But progress for me can also be the ability to lift heavier, move faster, feel stronger, and be happier.

And that’s why I wanted to be a coach.

I’ve been all over the spectrum. I’ve been overweight, I’ve had an eating disorder, I’ve had an obsessive exercise problem. And with my eating habits? Same thing. I’ve binged, starved, emotionally ate, ate just vegetables, ate just protein and with my years of experience in messing up my own health, I have learned how to improve my health.

I’ve learned what it takes to truly improve health for the long term, and that all comes down to lifestyle. I’ve learned  more about balance and about acceptance and about needing to have patience with myself.

I’ve read textbooks about nutrition, anatomy, physiology, and tried to understand everything I could about how the body physically functions.

I’ve read books about human behavior, about change psychology, about willpower, about habits.

I’ve searched internet sites about supplements, different exercise styles, different nutrition patterns, different ways of reaching different goals, and different ways of reaching the same goal.

I’ve read studies and analyzed them for flaws and drawn some of my own conclusions.

I discuss nutrition, exercise, and other lifestyle habits with people at work, people at CrossFit, and my husband every single day.

I’ve been a CrossFit coach for 17 months and a wellness coach for 10. I’ve learned so much. And I’m always hungry to learn more and to improve.

I absolutely love coaching. I love being able to use my background and my experience to help other people change their lives.

I was asked today to think about and write out “Why I Coach”.

This was probably way more than anyone would ever want to read.

But thanks for trudging through it anyway.

Getting on with Happy Ever After

I’ve been married for about three weeks now. And I love it.

I love that my best friend is the last person I see before I fall asleep and the first person I see when I wake up. I also love that when I wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream, I can snuggle up next to my superhero husband and feel calm and safe again. I do risk sometimes getting elbowed in the face if I hug him very tightly from behind late at night when he doesn’t know or remember that I’m right next to him. But that’s gotten better too.

Before we got married, we promised each other that we wouldn’t be a couple that got “soft” shortly after getting married. We like to help people reach their goals and improve their health. We also prioritize our own health and fitness because we both feel healthier, stronger, happier when we’re getting in good workouts. And we have to have good quality fuel to get our workouts the way we want them to be.

The week before and the week after we got married, I had a really hard time motivating myself to exercise. There was a lot of stress leading up to the wedding and I replaced my scheduled gym time for things like nail or hair appointments or spontaneous but completely necessary shopping trips. After the wedding, I just felt tired. My focus had been on the wedding day for so long that I stumbled a little bit getting back into my routine of life after wedding. Thankfully, I talk to one of my fellow coaches each week and she helped me refocus and get back on target. Every Sunday, my sweet husband and I talk through our goals for the week and that’s helped me remember the “why”. For a long time, my “why” for eating right and exercising was too lose weight, but I realized that isn’t really a sustainable goal. He and I talked about focusing less on body composition goals, but more on performance goals. Luckily, we CrossFit, so setting and working towards performance goals in several different training modes will lead to an improved body composition. Remembering those performance goals motivates me to eat well because I know if I binge eat, my gymnastics goals will be unnecessarily difficult. I also know that if I don’t give my body enough fuel, I won’t be able to reach my strength goals. And I know how I feel when I do my conditioning work compared to when I don’t. Focusing on performance and on the way I feel helps me stay consistent and excited about the work I do in and out of the box. Setting monthly, weekly, and daily goals helps me feel accomplished. Even when I don’t feel motivated to do something in the moment, I know that if I accomplish my goals, I’ll have that sense of pride and accomplishment.

I know that’s a lot of blabber, so I thought I’d condense my point in a short list.

1. Set an unbreakable appointment with yourself to do your exercise. Don’t schedule things that would interfere with that unbreakable appointment.

2. Set goals. If you’re getting frustrated or stuck with weight loss, set a good variety of performance goals.  You’ll find that as you continue to set quality performance goals, your body composition will improve as well.

3. Talk through your goals with someone with experience in the areas that you’re trying to improve.

4. You won’t always feel motivated. Do it anyway.

I’m Not Dead

I’m not dead.

Maybe a little bit going crazy. Like I said here, I’m engaged! Getting married to my best friend! And for some reason, all of my thoughts and focus and spare time have been completely and entirely consumed by wedding thoughts and prep. Yes, I backed out of most of the main planning (my mom is the hero of the day) but I’m still making lists and organizing myself so I can stay on top of everything I need to.

And when I’m not making lists, working, working out, or daydreaming, I’m spending time with the handsome man who’s going to be my husband.

So I’m sorry for disappearing.

But here I am to say….

WEDDING IN 3 MORE DAYS!!!! And can I just say it’s hard to workout this week? I’m tired! There’s so much to do! And have I mentioned, I’m tired? But yesterday, as I was eating some frozen mangoes and greek yogurt on my couch watching cartoon network educational television, I reminded myself that there’s a wedding dress waiting for me to rock it, and I don’t want to disappoint the wedding dress. So I changed into my workout clothes and biked on over to the gym.

That’s the other thing that’s been happening. I’ve been without a car for the past couple months. I don’t know if you all remember my Geo, but it was thoroughly smashed and bashed, and as soon as the sun was shining, I sold that lovely beast and bought a bike (Truth be told, my soon-to-be husband bought the bike for me. He’s awesome.) But that means everywhere I go, I’m on a bike. I’ve been rather lucky. I’ve only had to bike in the rain twice (We’ve had a sunny couple months!) and I have yet to be hit by a car. Definitely some seriously close calls though. And now that the weather’s getting colder and it gets dark sooner, I’m combing through KSL classifieds trying to find a decent car that I can reasonably afford.

I’m excited for married life. I’m eager to be all domestic and cook meals for my man. I’m looking forward to figuring out our team budget and committing to stick with it. I’m excited for the challenges and obstacles that come our way, because I’m confident we can make it through anything. I really do love this guy so much and I’m happy that he’s mine!